Gen-X Mom

Dear Chris,

Last night I put blue streaks in my daughter's hair. I never thought that I would be the kind of parent to allow blue-streaked hair, let alone apply the dye myself. It was a time-consuming and messy endeavor. I have blue fingers now, a blue bathtub, a blue towel. My daughter has blue stain on her neck. First we had to bleach the streaks, then dye the streaks, shampooing in between and after. She wanted to have "mermaid hair" as suggested in a teen fashion magazine. And since it is summer, and the school can't object. I let her do it.

I guess being a conservative teenager has made me a risk-taking adult. The cashier at the pharmacy said I was a "cool mom". I was almost offended by that title. I never intended to be a cool mom! "Cool Moms" are overly permissive and leave their children to whims of their peers, allowing them to "experiment" with drugs, alcohol, and sex. I do not want to be a "cool mom"! Experimenting with hair color, though, is neither morally nor physically dangerous. So, why not? I am proud to have a daughter who has a blue streak on her neck and not a hickey.

My daughter still likes me (at age 15) not because I am permissive; but because I am open to her. I listen to her needs, wants, and dreams. I try to set limits which help her feel safe and cared for, rather than ones that make my life more convenient. I have definitely not been the best of parents. A terrible marriage to a temperamental alcoholic limited my ability to parent well. I have a lot to make up for. If allowing blue hair makes me a cool mom, I guess I should accept the label graciously. Maybe redefine it.

"Cool Mom" A mom who is supportive and responsive to her children's wants as well as needs. A mom who makes her children and their friends feel comfortable and safe. Allowing them to to have fun and explore all the aspects of their talents and personalities. A mom who helps her children grow into well-socialized, kind adults; with the ability to become "cool parents" themselves.